


Eventually

by jensenacklesruinedmylife



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Cas tries to help, Character Death, M/M, Parent Dean, Parent Death, Single Parents
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-14
Updated: 2013-11-24
Packaged: 2017-12-29 08:59:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1003502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jensenacklesruinedmylife/pseuds/jensenacklesruinedmylife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lisa dies, and Ben is left an orphan. Or, he would be an orphan, if Bobby hadn't convinced Dean to take Ben in.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

When Bobby calls a few days after they've wrapped up a hunt, Dean doesn't expect it to be about anything important. 

Except it is.

He and Sam are sitting at the table in a motel room in Nebraska, flipping through piles and piles of newspapers, trying to find a job, and Sam's chatting away, when suddenly he looks up at Dean, and his face reads like something terrible has happened. 

"What?" Dean asks, impatient, because  _what now?_

Sam hangs up the phone with a shaky, "No, I'll tell him. Thanks, Bobby." 

"Tell me what?" Dean doesn't like being the last to know things. "Do we have a case?"

"No, it's -."

"Just spit it out, Sammy!"

"It's Lisa," Sam deadpans, and Dean's heart sinks. He knows what Sam is going to say before the words even leave his brother's lips, can hear it in his voice. He knows that tone all too well. 

"She's dead." 

For a minute, Dean just sits there, at the table, and doesn't say a thing. He repeats the words in his mind -  _Lisa's dead, Lisa's dead, Lisa is dead._ He can't bring himself to say it aloud.He had just spoken to her over the phone. A week, maybe two weeks ago? Granted, it hadn't been a pleasant conversation, but Dean is always relieved to hear that she and Ben are okay.

_Ben._

Realization hits him like a silver bullet in the chest. 

"God dammit!" Dean shoves himself away from the table and it falls over, the newspapers landing on the dirty carpet floor, along with Sam's fresh cup of coffee. 

"Dean," Sam starts, but Dean already knows where this is going.  _I'm so sorry, Dean, we'll figure this out, it'll be okay._

 _"_ It's not okay, Sam!" Dean yells as he paces, back and forth, resisting the urge to punch in the walls. "I left them, just so  _this_ wouldn't happen! Do you know how hard that was? Walking away from them, after everything they did for me?"

"I know, Dean -."

"I left to keep them safe! And now... God it's like... I left her for nothing. I left Ben for-." Dean stops pacing, because  _fuck_. 

"Ben."

Sam is silent for a beat, and Dean can tell there's something he's not saying. 

"What aren't you telling me?" Dean demands, taking quick, angry steps toward his brother. 

Sam stands and places a hand on Dean's shoulder before speaking. "Ben's with Bobby," he says slowly, "He's safe there. For now." 

"For now? What do you mean  _for now?_ _"_

 _"_ Well Bobby can't keep the kid forever."

"Of course not! Doesn't he have family or something?"

"He keeps saying he doesn't. Bobby was thinkin' you'd know?"

"That's bullshit," Dean shakes his head. "I wasn't exactly a fan of family reunions. Dammit," Dean sighs, "Guess we're going to South Dakota." 

"Uh, Dean? There's something else..."

"What?" Dean asks harshly. He's already on edge, and he's certain that he doesn't have the patience for more bad news. "What else could there  _possibly_ be?" 

"Bobby thinks that you should...adopt Ben."

"...What!?" 


	2. Chapter 2

"You’ve gotta take the boy, Dean. You’re the only one who can keep him safe! I sure as hell can’t."

"Bobby, have you lost your damn mind? I can’t take care of that kid! I’m not father material. I won’t have a clue what I’m doing!"

Dean is fuming. He and Bobby are outside of the house, and Dean isn’t sure how much longer he can argue about this without throwing something. Sam is inside, looking for Ben. Bobby said he’d been upstairs in the guest bedroom all day. Dean couldn’t blame the kid - he could sympathize; his mom was dead, too.

"Then you’ll learn, dammit." Bobby’s voice drops to a whisper, "Look, I know you’re upset -."

"Hah! That’s an understatement -."

"Hey! I know this is a whole lot to be asking of you, but the boy asked for  _you,_ okay? You left him, and he still wants you in his life. Doesn’t that count for anything?”

Dean is silent for a moment, because Bobby has a point. He imagined that Ben wasn’t a huge fan of his at this point, and yet here he was.

"He’s just scared, Bobby, and he knows what I do, he… he thinks I can protect him or some shit."

"You  _can_ protect him, Dean! That’s what I’ve been trying to get through that thick skull of yours!”

"What am I supposed to do? Teach him how to be a hunter? Hell no! Dad did the same thing to me and Sam -."

"To keep you guys safe! And John wasn’t the best father, but he raised you boys to become two of the best hunters in the game. You’re still alive, ain’t you?"

"Yeah, but Bobby -!"

"But nothing. I can’t keep him, and for the life of me, I can’t find any of that boy’s kin anywhere. You’re the next best thing, and he  _wants_ to go with you.”

Dean wipes a hand down his face and sighs.  _Benjamin, you idiot._ Ben has no clue what he’s asking for. Dean? As a father? It’s laughable, really.

"I need a minute," Dean huffs, turning to walk toward the scrapyard. He kicks the gravel as he walks, hands balled to fists in his short hair. There’s no way he can handle this, but if Dean is honest with himself (a rare occurrence), he really does care about the kid. He might even love him, but love is a dangerous luxury in his life.

There’s a flutter in the air and Dean stops walking.

"You require assistance?"

Dean whips around, one hand on the gun tucked at the back of his jeans and is relieved to find that it’s just Castiel. He relaxes immediately.

"Cas, what did I tell you about that!"

"My apologies," Castiel nods, understanding, "but I sensed that you needed some help. Is something the matter?"

Dean is shocked that Cas doesn’t know about Lisa.  _Also, the guy can sense my moods now? The hell?_ His mouth hangs open for half a second before he speaks. “You haven’t heard?”

"Heard what?"

"L-Lisa’s dead," Dean says aloud.  _F_ _or the first time_ , his mind reminds him. He ignores that.

Cas’s face changes from one of disbelief and surprise to confusion and sorrow. “Dean, I had no idea. I’m so sorry.”

Dean waves off the apology; he’s not in the mood. “Ben’s here.”

"Benjamin Braeden, her son? Here? Why?"

"Bobby got him."

"Oh, I see. May I ask…what killed Lisa?"

"…That’s a good question." Dean shakes his head. How could he have forgotten to ask that? It’s like that first thing you ask!  _I’m losing it._ Before Dean knows it, he and Cas appear in the middle of Bobby’s living room, Cas now standing much closer than he had been before.

"We could have walked, ya know," Dean grunts, slightly annoyed. He takes a step back, still uncomfortable with the proximity.

Castiel merely looks confused again. “This was more convenient, Dean.”

"Yeah, yeah, of course it was. Where is everyone?"

There’s movement above them that sounds like two sets of feet. They both look up, and then Dean turns toward the stairs to see Sam. Descending behind him is a red-eyed, sniffling Ben. Dean doesn’t think he’s ever seen Ben cry. The usually happy-go-lucky, adventurous 10-year-old now looks so small, so devastated, and God help him, it breaks Dean’s heart.

"Dean?" Ben asks wearily, wiping his eyes as if to hide his tears. Dean mentally kicks himself for making the kid think that was ever necessary.

"Hey, buddy," Dean whispers, crouching to the floor and opening his arms, "C’mere."

Ben runs,  _fucking sprints_ to Dean, falling into his arms with a loud sob and it hurts, because Dean knows exactly how Ben feels and it’s as if he’s reliving Mary’s death all over again. He glances up at Sam, who shakes his head sadly.  _He was there,_ Sam mouths, and Dean hugs Ben even tighter and closes his eyes.

 _Whatever did this, I swear,_ Dean vows to himself,  _they won’t get away with this._ _  
_

Dean feels a hand on his shoulder and opens his eyes to see Castiel standing beside him. When they make eye contact, Cas nods confidently, and Dean knows that, somehow, Cas heard him, and he’s on Dean’s side.

_I’ll rip their lungs out._


	3. Chapter 3

Turns out, taking care of a ten-year-old boy is not an easy task. Not that Dean had  _expected_ it to be easy.

It’s been a week since they first arrived at Bobby’s, and Ben seems to be feeling significantly better. He’s eating more, sleeping more, and when the TV is on, he actually watches it instead of just staring at it.

"You think he’ll be ready to go soon?" Sam asks quietly. They’re in the kitchen, and Dean is watching Ben play a video game in the living room. Bobby says he found the game system lying around in his basement, but Dean would bet 50 bucks that the old sap went out and bought it brand new for Ben.

"In a couple days, I’d say," Dean replies, equally as quiet. "He’s still hurtin’, that much I can tell. But the past two nights, he hasn’t come running to me in tears, so." Dean shrugs, a mixed feeling filling his chest - part sorrow, part…pride?

When Sam knocks their shoulders together and gives him a look, Dean realizes that he’d been smiling.

"What?" he says briskly, turning and walking toward the fridge. Sam is still looking at him funny when he closes the fridge, cold beer in hand.

"You’re proud of him. Like a father would be." _  
_

Dean rolls his eyes, “Sam, I’m not the kids father, okay? I’m just the closest thing to family that he’s got, apparently. I don’t need anyone calling me _Dad._ Makes me feel old.”

Sam snorts, “You are old.”

"Oh yeah? Well as your elder, I order you to shut your damn pie hole," Dean shoves into Sam as he walks past, and Sam laughs in response. "Keep an eye on Ben, wouldya?"

"Whatever you say, old man."

"I heard that!" Dean calls as he opens the front door and steps outside. It’s April, and everything is green. It’s only starting to get warm, but Dean rolls up his sleeves anyway. He takes a deep breath and plops himself down on the porch steps, taking a sip from the beer bottle. He almost wishes he wasn’t alone right now, because now he’s thinking - thinking about how calm he is,  _too calm,_ and how this whole situation is fucked up, and how he still doesn’t have any leads on what the hell killed Lisa because he doesn’t have the nerve to ask Ben, too worried that he’ll trigger some sort of panic attack, and how Bobby wants him to teach the kid to be a hunter, which is absolutely  _ludicrous,_ and Dean’s not sure how he hasn’t had a panic attack of his own.

"You’re worried," a voice says from right next to him, and Dean jumps, cursing at the beer that spills all over his shirt.

"Dammit, Cas!" Dean puts the bottle down and peels his shirt from his skin with the tips of his fingers, grimacing.

"I am sorry, Dean, you did tell me not to do that," Cas says, waving his hand over Dean’s chest, and just like that, it’s dry. "I will try harder to remember."

Dean looks over at Cas, ready to respond with a harsh comeback, but the angel actually looks  _upset,_ and Dean can’t bring himself to be mean. Which is odd, because Dean can be mean to just about anyone. _What is going on with me?_

"Don’t worry about it," Dean shakes his head and picks up what’s left of his beer, "Where were you, anyway?"

"I’ve been trying to find information on Lisa’s death," Cas responds casually, "I assume you would like to know what killed her, so that you can, as you say,  _kick it’s ass._ " Cas uses the quotation fingers and everything, and Dean’s chuckling before he can catch himself.

"Is something amusing?" Cas asks, genuinely confused, but there’s a hint of a smile on his lips.

Dean smiles back and says, “You’re cute,” again, before he can catch himself.

The moment the words are out of his mouth, Dean knows he needs to get out of there, and fast. He looks at Cas, ready to brush it off as a joke, a fluke, a figure of speech,  _whatever,_ but Cas is just staring at him, blue eyes blinking slowly, beautifully, and  _what the fuck is wrong with me?_

"Uh, I’m gonna, um - ." Dean’s words fumble because he has a million and one thoughts flying through his mind, most of them questioning his sanity. After a few seconds, Dean settles on, "I’ve gotta go," trips on his way back into the house, and closes the door with a little too much force once he’s inside.

He barely has time to exhale and process the situation before someone else is calling his name again.

"What?!" Dean’s voice is louder than he intends, and when he looks over, he sees Ben, wide eyed, staring back at him.  _Shit._

"Ben," Dean starts, much gentler this time, "hey, buddy, I didn’t realize that was you. Everything okay?"

Ben hesitates to answer, and that’s when Dean knows for certain that taking care of a ten-year-old will not be easy. They’re old enough to take care of themselves, but after only one decade of life, they’re still just kids, and probably don’t take being yelled at very lightly. Especially when they’ve done nothing wrong.  _  
_

"Sorry for yelling," Dean says quickly, walking over to Ben and kneeling, "things are just…a little crazy in my head right now, is all."

"You don’t want me?" Ben asks simply, four little words that Dean hadn’t known would hurt so much to hear. "Is that what’s wrong?"

"What? No! I mean - of course I  _want_ you, kiddo, you’re Ben! Who wouldn’t want a badass like you by their side?” Dean winks, and feels relief when Ben smiles at him.

"Your brother is already pretty cool," he says sheepishly, looking at his shoes.

"Not as cool as you are," Dean whispers, like it’s a great big secret.

Ben’s eyes go wide, “Really!?”

"Heck yeah! But don’t tell him I said that, alright? He might get jealous."

Ben laughs, “You got it!” After a quick thumbs up, he runs back to the living room, where Dean assumes Sam is waiting.

 _No way I’m making that kid a hunter,_ Dean decides. He refuses to take what little spirit Ben has left and ruin it. Lisa wouldn’t want that. Lisa would want him to drop hunting all together.

But Dean’s not sure if that’s possible.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, bbys! Here's part 4 <333

The next day, Bobby gets a call about a case, and informs Sam and Dean that it’s a simple salt and burn.

"I’ll go," Sam says immediately, and Dean has to admit, he’s a bit offended. 

"What? Why can’t we both go?"

"You have Ben, now, Dean," Sam shrugs, "Don’t you wanna spend more time with him?"

"And teach him how to defend himself while you’re at it," Bobby adds. "If the boy’s ever gonna be safe with you two idgits, he should at least know how to manage a solid left hook."

"Wait, wait, Bobby," Dean shakes his head, "did you not hear me when I said that I am  _not_ teaching him to hunt?” 

"Don’t pull that tone with me, boy," Bobby replies, voice hushed, and Dean drops his gaurd. Bobby is only trying to help, anyway. "I’m not tellin’ you to turn the kind into a hunter. I’m just sayin’, with all the skills you two have - and Cas, too, since he seems to be a part of this little club you’ve got goin’ - it would be unfair to leave the boy defenseless and vulnerable." 

"Bobby has a point, Dean," Sam says softly. 

Dean throws his hands up in feigned exasperation. He knows they’re right, but he’s not about to admit it. “What am I, a stay-at-home mom? I’m going with you, Sam.”

"Then you’re taking the boy, too," Bobby replies. 

"What?! Bobby, you can’t -."

"He isn’t safe with me, Dean, I told you that already," Bobby explains. "What if I left a trail when I got the kid in the first place? The thing that got Lisa could be following his scent."

"Bobby, come on-."

"You never know! I, for one, would rather be safe than sorry. It may not be by much, but he  _is_ better off with you. He wants you to take him, remember? He’ll probably do whatever you ask.”

"Bobby, he’s just a kid! If I bring him into The Life…" Dean trails, remembering how he was thrown head first into the so-called Life. He doesn’t want that for Ben, and something in him aches.

Just then, the sound of wings comes from the center of the room. 

"Hey, Castiel," Sam chuckles, "you’ve got great timing."

Cas only nods. “Can I be of assistance?” 

Bobby gives Dean a look, and Dean sighs heavily. “Cas, uh, can I talk to you for a sec?” 

"Of course, Dean," Cas replies as Sam and Bobby make their way out of the room. 

"Okay," Dean begins, "this is a lot to ask, but we… I was wondering if -."

"You would like for me to watch over the child, while you hunt a ghost with Sam," Cas states.

Dean just blinks for a moment. “How the hell did you know that?”

Cas almost looks nervous before he responds. “Dean, I’m an angel, as you know - a multidimensional wavelength of celestial intent. I was concerned about you, so I…listened in.”

"You eavesdrop on me?!" Dean shouts, but Cas has the humility to look sheepish, so Dean decides to play nice and shrug it off. "Nevermind," he says, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Why were you concerned about me?" 

"The last time we spoke you.. _.ran off_ , I think you would call it.” 

Oh.  _Oh._ Dean remembers saying something that made him want to bolt. He opens his mouth to tell Cas not to worry about it, but of course, Cas has more to say.

"You called me cute, I believe? I am aware that such an adjective is usually used as a compliment -."

Dean mentally groans; he would really rather  _not_ listen to this, but Cas charges on.

" - and, if you had stayed, I would have returned the sentiment."

 _Wait._ "What?" Dean asks, eyes widening.  _Did he mean…?_

"I believe that you, too, are uh… cute." 

Cas smiles and Dean just stares. The angel just told him he was cute. How is he supposed to respond to that, again?

Dean clears his throat and changes the subject as quickly as possible. “Um, thanks, Cas…I guess. Now, Ben.”

"Ben, of course. I would be willing to watch over him, but Bobby is right - he is not safe here. Take him with you."

"Whoa, wait, I thought you said -."

"Take him with you to whichever motel you and Sam book for the duration of the hunt, and when you need to do things that you believe are too dangerous for the boy, call for me."

That sounds pretty simple to Dean, but with Cas, it’s never actually that simple.  _What’s the catch?_

"You sure about this?" Dean regards Cas carefully, trying to get a read on him. 

"Absolutely. Heaven is…messy, but not desperate just yet. I should be available at anytime."

"Wow. Thanks, Cas. That’s really awesome of you."

Cas smirks in the way that makes Dean forget that he’s not human. “Yes, awesome,” he says, and then his eyes shift towards the entrance of the room. “The boy is looking for you. I should go.”

"Who, Ben? Why don’t you wait so I can introduce you guys?"

Cas seems slightly uncomfortable with the idea, but doesn’t flee like Dean thinks he will. “If you insist.” 

"Hey, Ben, in here!" Dean calls, hearing the kid’s footsteps. Ben jogs in, and he’s wearing one of Dean’s old Metallica t-shirts that had shrunk in the wash some time ago.

"Dean! Sam found this shirt and told me I could have it! Ya know, since it doesn’t fit you anymore."

Dean had to laugh - of course, his little brother  _would_  hand out his clothes and assume he wouldn’t mind. Luckily for Sam, he didn’t mind one bit.

"Nice! Looks even better on you, little man." 

Ben looks down at himself and smiles, “Thanks.” His eyes roam around the room and inevitably land on Cas. “Hi,” he says with a wave.

"Hello. Ben." Cas responds, with a small wave of his own. 

Dean smiles, “Hey, buddy, this is Cas - he pops in every now and then. He’s an a-.”

"An old friend," Cas interjects, holding out his hand for a shake. "Are you as uh, awesome, as Dean says you are?"

Dean’s a bit surprised by Cas’s interruption, but he figures he can ask about it later. Now, though, Ben is shaking the angel’s hand and practically beaming. 

"Dean says I’m awesome?" he asks, glancing up to Dean, and it warms Dean’s heart to see Ben happy. 

"Hell yeah, kiddo!" Dean replies.

"It is good to finally meet you," Cas smiles at Ben, and it looks genuine. "Sadly, I must be going now, but I hope to see you again soon."

"Me too," Ben says, moving out of the way so that Cas can get to the door. "Bye, Cas!"

"Bye, Cas," Dean mimics, shooting Cas a glance. Cas glances back with an uneasy smile, and an apologetic look.  _Yeah, we definitely need to talk later._


End file.
